?

Log in

No account? Create an account

[sticky post] Back!

Here's the deal.
I'm back. Though was I ever really here?

At any rate, besides my football blog (footballoffice.blogspot.com), I'd like to have some sort of online blog to write on. Something easy, something quick, something to express my love of Sherlock, Assassin's Creed and Blake Lewis. Something unrelated to football, something that people will read, but doesn't scream 'I can't control my emotions so I must go fangirl obsessively'. Yeah, that's not me.
I do a lot of things obsessively, but I will not be one of those crazy online fan girls. Really, no matter what my friends tease me about, I am not that bad. Half of the reason I do it is to make them laugh anyway. That's interesting, maybe I should explore that idea more.
Who am I really?

As you're probably figuring out, this will be more of a stream of consciousness thing, less concentrated, more out there. Just to get out what I'm thinking so maybe I don't yell so much in public. Also, I'm running out of notebooks and don't have the money to buy endless Moleskines, as much as I would like to. So we'll see how it goes.

On behalf of myself, let Bendict take us away!




Yours,
C

"Jack"

So I've got this friend. Let's call him "Jack" (not his real name, I don't have any friends named Jack). At any rate, we've known each other about a year.
And today, while I was watching Community, I realized something I've been on the edge of for a while. I think I like him?
Now, this doesn't seem like a big deal, but here's the rub. He lives in OH, goes to college in MA and if I'm lucky I see him once a year. So.... yeah.




And I can't tell him this because it would ruin everything. It's so crazy and stupid. Mostly because of this...




But I like him. It's true. He's sweet, cute, can dance, lives the life I wish I could live (and by that I mean being a genuinely good person, rather than a sarcastic ass like I am sometimes. Most times.), he's funny, listens to my endless dribble, is interested in my writing, helps me, lets me help him, writes me letters, makes me smile, makes me feel like I'm wanted, makes me feel less stupid about myself and has a classy tattoo (just like me.).
It's all too much and makes me want to...




Liking "Jack" isn't like liking one of the guys here at school. I like him for the right reasons, because we've gotten to know each other, because we were friends first. It's easy. But I can't even bring the subject up with him because I know he doesn't want to do distance. He broke up with a girl because of it. (The distance thing.) So it would be incredibly ridiculous for me to throw our relationship down the toilet for this. It's killing me to not say anything. I know I can't, but hey, here I can. No one read this, it's just my way of thinking someone in the world somewhere cares a little bit. And now I can say I've gotten it out of my system without telling my friends or even him. Not a bad deal if you ask me. I'm sure it will pass. It has too. I'm not losing his wonderful friendship over something that can never happen.
So world, this is how I feel about you right now. Thanks feelings.




~C.S.S.C

Housing Rant

Here's the deal. William and Mary Housing stinks. It's horrible. I can't quite put into words how horrible it truly is.
So here's how it works. There's a housing lottery, seniors go first, then juniors, then sophomores. Freshman are randomly assigned, so they get to escape this crazy. Lucky them. Then housing time blocks are assigned. Early the block is, the better pick you get. At least, that's the idea. There are things like block housing, which I won't go into because it's complicated and has nothing to do with this story.
So basically, there are dorms, Ludwell (apartments off campus) and the Units, where most of the frats are. No one wants to be in the Units for that reason. They are not particularly attractive buildings, nor are they designed well. Basically, they're great if you're in a frat or like to party, but if you're an average student, they suck. Pretty hard, from what I've heard. So my new roommate and I (yeah, I won't even go into the story of how my other roommate bailed on me. I don't want to break my new computer) had a time block on the second day of sophomores. We figured we'd get into this complex across the street from the football stadium -- there are lots of dorms there, so we figured it would be easy. FALSE. By the first day of housing, everything but the Units were gone.
This is pretty much how I felt.




I knew we were going to have to live there. But of course, I couldn't accept it right away. Of course not. Typical. So basically, to make a very long story short, after complaining, fighting with my parents and looking all over for an apartment, I decided that there were too many variables (wouldn't know if I got the apartment until July, etc) and that I was going to have to find something through res. life. So I went over there and was asking them what to do. They recommend the Governor's Inn, a hotel near campus. I'd heard about it from my friends, but hadn't ever really thought about it. So this woman at res life gets me all excited about basically living in a hotel for a year. I call my father, all excited, and explain what I what. He shoots me down. Basically, after all of that, it turns out that my only choice was ever really the Units.
So I felt like this is what had happened to me over the last three days.




So my new roommate and I are living there. She's pretty cool. So I'm not excited, but not dreading it. Worst comes to worst, I'll live secretly in the football building. After all, it's pretty much right next to the Units. And it's a hell of a lot nicer. If they find me and ask me why, I'm just going to say that I live in the Units. They'll understand for sure. Or I'll finally aquire some sort of boyfriend and live with him. But oh wait, it's me soo....





Yup, that's me. Ross, not Rachel.

- C.S.S.C

Writer's Block: Letters from Home

Do you still write letters to friends or family? (Actual written letters, not emails.) Does a handwritten letter mean more to you when you receive one, or do you find yourself wishing they'd typed it out so it was more legible?


I think this is worth talking about because writing letters is truly a lost art.
I love to write letters more than many things in life, and most certainly love to receive them. The thing about letters is that it's so much nicer to get a handwritten letter than an e-mail. Emails are so impersonal, so generic. "Oh, I'll just shoot you an e-mail." But with a letter, so much more goes into it. You have to have an address, a piece of paper, an envelope, a stamp and a pen. I save all the letters I've ever gotten, whether I was away at camp or here at college.
My friends and family write me as much as they can, though I think that they don't love it like I do. It's a shame, but I understand. It is very much a lost art. When honestly was the last time you told your friend you would write them a letter?
Handwritten letters, even notes, always mean more to me than quick e-mails. I've cried tears of joy over receiving a letter from someone who means a lot to me, but I have certainly never shed tears of any sort over an e-mail. The US postal service is having problems, but wouldn't be if more people understood the power of a handwritten letter. I've heard stories about people asking each other out with letters. Everyone wants love letters to show to their children, right? We all long for the days when a kiss meant more that just a casual thing. Those days when "I'll call" meant you would actually call, and call the landline at that. The vintage love in all of us calls for these letters. We should let them out!

- C.S.S.C

Gone

Sorry I haven't posted much--I was at the beach and didn't have internet access. And now I'm going to writer's camp this week, so I don't think I'll be able to post much either. And this brings me to my point. What am I doing with this journal? I'm not quite sure, but I haven't gotten many comments [one accutally] so it must not be to every one's liking. Oh well, I don't live to please other people but it would be nice to get a comment now and then. Any way I'll add more to ths later, my battery is dying...

ADVICE NEEDED

Ok, here it is my long over due story. As you all know, I graudated from 8th grade a few days ago. Well on Friday there was a party. This as the last time I'd ever throught I would see some people, like Max. Max is this boy who I've liked on and off for 4 years. I've danced with him, sort of gone out with him, kissed him on the check twice, and asked him out. Now at this party because I tthough this would be the last time I'd ever see him, that I woud finally kiss him. I'd been talking to my friend about it for about two weeks or so, so I was ready. Untill the totally unexected happened. My other 'friend' Marie bean sobbing becase she'd had a 'secrat crush' on Max for two years or something. Now Marie thinks shes all goth and emo but she was wearing a bright orange dress with a pink and green bag. I'd neer seen her cry before and she'd never shown any interest in guys before. In fact, she'd never even shown a desire to be friends wih Max. What I'm trying to say is this came totally out of the blue, and that I had no idea Marie had feelings for him. See my problem? What would you have done?
Anyway, to make a long story short Max and I stood behind a bush and talked about things. I ended up crying, nd makeing a stupid promise that I have all ready broken.
"I would never call you, talk to you, IM you, or e-mail you if you'd just et me go through with this."
" Would you rather I kiss you now ad we never talk again, or would you rather I not kiss you and we keep in touch?" I was dead silent. I just didn't know what to do.
" I'm gong to be totally honest with you, I want to kiss you."
After that we talke for few more minutes and then he said the most wonderious words I've ever heard.
" Close your eyes."
I did and I felt his lips on mine. Then he was gone. What could I do but cry? Cried for my gain and my loss. Cried for closure but yet opening. Cried for my perfect moonlight kiss, like the one I'd alsways dreamed about.

------------------------------------------------------

Ironicly I saw Max today at the pool. We talked and it was as normal as it's going to get for now. We hugged and he was gone. " Try to say goodbye and I choke, try to walk away and I stumble..."

American Idol

I know its REALLY REALLY late for this, but I was just thinking... as I sit here listening to Blake Lewis... that American Idol is rigged on so many things. I love Blake and wanted him to win so badly, but Jordin won. Why is that? Why didn't Melinda win? She was better than Jordin. Is better than Jordin. Because, America thinks Jordin is pretty, and other reasons like that. I'm so tired of people judging other people on how they look. These reality TV shows are so.. ah, its hard to say. They just don't really portray people the way they actually are. It makes me sick. I wish America would wake up to what they are doing, and the stars aren't helping this. They run around doing what ever they please, and set a terrible example for young people, especially girls. They make girls feel like they have to be skinny and pretty and stuff like that. It matters whats on the inside, the prettiest girl can be the biggest jerk sometimes. What do you think?

Ahh

I figures out that my service was all crazy (my internet) so now I'm at school, typing this.  I'm not really supposed to be using the internet, but with the internet at home all funny I NEED TO. I'm sure everyone understands. I graudate tomarrow, so this was my last REAL day of school, which is cool. I'm going to go down the art room at 11:00 and finish my paint and paint my clay jar, which I made on the pottery wheel. Thats sad, cuase I won't get to go dwon the art room after this any more... NO!!  This is quite sad. I guess I have to go now.. TTFN!
Claire

Hey

I know its no the most orginal title, but it will have to do. I'm Claire, and I like to write. A LOT. Hence the name. I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan (can't wait July 21 2007!), and I also listen to MuggleCast. Does anyone else? I hope I'm not alone.  I'm still trying to figure this whole 'Live Journal' thing out, so some help would be great. I'm also a HUGE Baltimore Ravens fa. For those of you who don't watch American Football, its a team in the States, and they rock!  I also like the England National Football (soccer) team. These are just some of my interests, oh by the way, I love frogs. They are my favorite animal, so as my icon (hopefully to be up ASAP) says 'Don't Dissect".
TTFN,
Claire