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"Jack"

So I've got this friend. Let's call him "Jack" (not his real name, I don't have any friends named Jack). At any rate, we've known each other about a year.
And today, while I was watching Community, I realized something I've been on the edge of for a while. I think I like him?
Now, this doesn't seem like a big deal, but here's the rub. He lives in OH, goes to college in MA and if I'm lucky I see him once a year. So.... yeah.




And I can't tell him this because it would ruin everything. It's so crazy and stupid. Mostly because of this...




But I like him. It's true. He's sweet, cute, can dance, lives the life I wish I could live (and by that I mean being a genuinely good person, rather than a sarcastic ass like I am sometimes. Most times.), he's funny, listens to my endless dribble, is interested in my writing, helps me, lets me help him, writes me letters, makes me smile, makes me feel like I'm wanted, makes me feel less stupid about myself and has a classy tattoo (just like me.).
It's all too much and makes me want to...




Liking "Jack" isn't like liking one of the guys here at school. I like him for the right reasons, because we've gotten to know each other, because we were friends first. It's easy. But I can't even bring the subject up with him because I know he doesn't want to do distance. He broke up with a girl because of it. (The distance thing.) So it would be incredibly ridiculous for me to throw our relationship down the toilet for this. It's killing me to not say anything. I know I can't, but hey, here I can. No one read this, it's just my way of thinking someone in the world somewhere cares a little bit. And now I can say I've gotten it out of my system without telling my friends or even him. Not a bad deal if you ask me. I'm sure it will pass. It has too. I'm not losing his wonderful friendship over something that can never happen.
So world, this is how I feel about you right now. Thanks feelings.




~C.S.S.C